Our lovely second boy was born just over a week ago and really has been a pretty great baby so far...except that he won't breastfeed. He can't attach, he won't suck, and consequently I'm not making much milk, but he's a big and hungry baby (born 9lb 2oz). So I've had to face the fact that this little guy is going to be formula fed plus whatever I can pump out, which in the absence of a sucking baby is not a great deal.
When I'm at my most rational, this is all fine with me. I had the same situation with Leo and I can now see that he has turned out healthy and happy which is all that you can ask for in a child. However, when I am feeling a little bit more fragile (which is not an uncommon side effect of the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn), any question or comment about why I'm not breastfeeding instantly has me wanting to burst into tears. This is not to say that I can't recognise that the questions from family and friends are well-meaning or just genuinely curious about why my one-week-old baby is having a bottle. It's just that it is perhaps a more emotive subject for me, and I assume other failed breastfeeders, than would be instantly apparent. Because of this, I just dread anyone even raising the topic with me even if I know the intention is in no way sinister. I think it's sort of in the same vein as asking people who are desperately trying to conceive why they haven't had kids yet - but obviously that issue is more sensitive again.
The thing is, I really wanted to breastfeed and I promise I gave it a red hot go. I know as well as anybody that breast is best and that it is the cheapest and most nutritious way to feed a baby. I won't go into graphic detail but it's fair to say that pretty much the only thing I did in my four days in hospital was try to get milk out of me and make the baby drink that milk. I know that I am reading into people's questions more than is intended but I can't help feeling that there is always a suggestion that there is more that I could have done and if only I would persevere it would happen.
With Leo I went to two breastfeeding clinics, spoke to five lactation consultants, took prescription medicine and herbal supplements, and expressed milk every three hours to get my supply up (which really messes with your sleep) - and now I know that this sort of perseverance doesn't necessarily make it happen. It also results in you being more tired and stressed than you would otherwise be with a newborn. Not to mention that on top of this you are spending hours sterilising a mountain of breast pump and bottle feeding paraphernalia.
I guess all I am trying to get off my chest (pun intended) is that for new mums struggling to breastfeed, and no doubt short on sleep, regardless of the intention, it is worth steering clear of lengthy discussions around the benefits of breast milk. The truth is that we know the benefits of breastfeeding and we want to do it but if we can't achieve it, at least we can move forward to raising a happy, healthy child.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Too much information! Or maybe not enough?
I've had a booming week for discovering random facts about nutrition - mostly due to a book that I am reading called "Eat Your Heart Out" by Felicity Laurence, but also some radio news from today.
According to ABC radio today, hospital admissions for kids eating disorders have trebled over the last decade which has led some groups to point to the influence of the media and photoshopping. I think this is a bit of a stretch as there are so many factors that influence children's eating habits and body image.
Mia Freedman came out with a very sensible response on the program saying it's really a parent's job to provide good role modelling as opposed to just saying the right thing. Mia basically said that it may be ineffective to be telling your kid to go out and climb a tree when you are working on your computer eating a tim tam (bit close to home I might add). The segment didn't give a good summary of how widespread eating disorders are among kids or what causes them but the growth stats for eating disorders were a bit of a shock.
However, not as shocking as some stats from the UK that are in Laurence's book that state that British children in the UK aged five to nine years consume an average of 106 pounds (say about $150) worth of confectionary in a year and a similar amounts worth of soft drink. I hate to think what the equivalent figures are in Australia where childhood obesity rates sit around 20% and our overall obesity rates are higher than the UK.
The outcome of the radio segment was that parents need better quality information on nutrition for themselves and their children and I'd tend to agree. But where should this come from??
According to ABC radio today, hospital admissions for kids eating disorders have trebled over the last decade which has led some groups to point to the influence of the media and photoshopping. I think this is a bit of a stretch as there are so many factors that influence children's eating habits and body image.
Mia Freedman came out with a very sensible response on the program saying it's really a parent's job to provide good role modelling as opposed to just saying the right thing. Mia basically said that it may be ineffective to be telling your kid to go out and climb a tree when you are working on your computer eating a tim tam (bit close to home I might add). The segment didn't give a good summary of how widespread eating disorders are among kids or what causes them but the growth stats for eating disorders were a bit of a shock.
However, not as shocking as some stats from the UK that are in Laurence's book that state that British children in the UK aged five to nine years consume an average of 106 pounds (say about $150) worth of confectionary in a year and a similar amounts worth of soft drink. I hate to think what the equivalent figures are in Australia where childhood obesity rates sit around 20% and our overall obesity rates are higher than the UK.
The outcome of the radio segment was that parents need better quality information on nutrition for themselves and their children and I'd tend to agree. But where should this come from??
Taking it easy on yourself
With only three days until my due date for number two (an inside baby that has been lovingly named 'Pompf 'by child number one) I have been reflecting on how you keep a family fed when operating on no sleep. I actually remember having the distinct thought that I would never be able to cook a meal again in the first sleepless days after Leo was born. The baking dishes full of lasagne and pots full of apricot chicken that were delivered by friends and family could not have been more valued.
I've discussed it with a few other mums as well and it seems that the answer is to just get through it and don't worry about it too much. The very wise words I heard today were "the first aim is to get everyone to eat something healthy and if that fails, the second aim is to get everyone to eat".
This came into play last night when for some unknown reason, Leo didn't want tortollini bolognese - I'm sure I've mentioned this sort of event before but who knows what goes on in toddlers fickle little heads. In the end, there was a late supper of weetbix and watermelon which is not the worst outcome (noting that lunch had consisted of lollies, sausage rolls and some plain white bread at a third birthday party therefore this was actually a considerable step up).
So here's looking forward to the coming months of makeshift meals, hopefully without too much sleep-deprivation fed guilt! As is my mantra with housecleaning with small children, you are probably better off temporarily lowering your standards than stressing about the situation.
I've discussed it with a few other mums as well and it seems that the answer is to just get through it and don't worry about it too much. The very wise words I heard today were "the first aim is to get everyone to eat something healthy and if that fails, the second aim is to get everyone to eat".
This came into play last night when for some unknown reason, Leo didn't want tortollini bolognese - I'm sure I've mentioned this sort of event before but who knows what goes on in toddlers fickle little heads. In the end, there was a late supper of weetbix and watermelon which is not the worst outcome (noting that lunch had consisted of lollies, sausage rolls and some plain white bread at a third birthday party therefore this was actually a considerable step up).
So here's looking forward to the coming months of makeshift meals, hopefully without too much sleep-deprivation fed guilt! As is my mantra with housecleaning with small children, you are probably better off temporarily lowering your standards than stressing about the situation.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Eleanor's top ten for travelling with toddlers
We have just returned yet another overseas trip with the toddler (yep, I know that sounds smug but it's probably not as glamourous as multiple overseas trips without a toddler). From previous experiences I've certainly learnt a few things about how to manage the whole situation but also how to relax a bit and let some unhealthy meals/snacks through to the keeper.
It's not all about tricks and tips though so I thought it would be worth recapping the pros and cons of travelling and feeding kids in my one-off ,top ten findings from travelling with toddlers and their tummies. First five good things:
1. If you pack some good healthy snacks, they are often super keen to eat them (we went a lot of places with chopped apple, dried apricots, rice cakes, and wholegrain muesli bars).
2. You never know when you might stumble over a new food that they are surprisingly prepared to try. For this trip there were egg sandwiches, naan bread, scampi (like prawns) and banana bread in the new food favourites.
3. You don't have to do the cooking all of the time, so if food is rejected it's not as personal (except maybe for poor Grandma Jeanne who slaved over the hot stove).
4. There may be occasional opportunities to utilise peer pressure "Look, Charlie loves eating that nutritious wholegrain cereal - would you like some as well?"
5. Whatever happens you can always use the justification that you're on holidays to ease your guilt over any bad food days. For example, it is totally normal to eat chocolate pastries for breakfast in France and I'm sure they are supportive of multiple ice creams as well.
And then there are five not so good things...
6. You will never be able to predict how a slight difference in foods overseas will lead to rejection. For example weetbix and apples don't taste the same in the UK and therefore cannot be tolerated by a toddler.
7. No matter how hard you try, sometimes a toddler is just going to want hot chips for dinner over the gourmet pot of mussels (pommes frites anyone?)
8. Your best intentions in bringing healthy snacks can sometimes lead to toddler obsession with looking in your bag "what you got in your bag Mummy?"
9. You can't always stop well meaning friends/relatives from feeding the toddler biscuits 10 minutes before you were going to serve them a bowl of vegie laden pasta.
10. No matter how much of a pep talk you have given yourself not to worry about what the toddler is eating while you're away, you may find yourself jet-lagged at 5am documenting everything that they have consumed for the past three weeks and trying to identify how many of these could be considered a plant-food, let alone a vegetable.
So there you have it. It's not all bad but it also won't be perfect. If all else fails, I still recommend falling back on whatever healthy food it is that they will eat. One of ours is this super easy and quick gnocchi that only requires two saucepans!
Eleanor's Hidden Vegie Gnocchi
Ingredients
500 gms gnocchi
1 onion, finely sliced
1 zucchini, finely grated
1 handful spinach finely chopped
Half a jar of pesto
Recipe
Boil a large pot of water and cook the gnocchi according to the packet instructions
Meanwhile in a separate pan, fry the onions over a medium heat in a teaspoon or so of olive oil until softened. Add the zucchini and spinach and stir until wilted and softened.
When the gnocchi is cooked, add it to the vegies and stir through the pesto.
Serve with parmesan cheese
It's not all about tricks and tips though so I thought it would be worth recapping the pros and cons of travelling and feeding kids in my one-off ,top ten findings from travelling with toddlers and their tummies. First five good things:
1. If you pack some good healthy snacks, they are often super keen to eat them (we went a lot of places with chopped apple, dried apricots, rice cakes, and wholegrain muesli bars).
2. You never know when you might stumble over a new food that they are surprisingly prepared to try. For this trip there were egg sandwiches, naan bread, scampi (like prawns) and banana bread in the new food favourites.
3. You don't have to do the cooking all of the time, so if food is rejected it's not as personal (except maybe for poor Grandma Jeanne who slaved over the hot stove).
4. There may be occasional opportunities to utilise peer pressure "Look, Charlie loves eating that nutritious wholegrain cereal - would you like some as well?"
5. Whatever happens you can always use the justification that you're on holidays to ease your guilt over any bad food days. For example, it is totally normal to eat chocolate pastries for breakfast in France and I'm sure they are supportive of multiple ice creams as well.
And then there are five not so good things...
6. You will never be able to predict how a slight difference in foods overseas will lead to rejection. For example weetbix and apples don't taste the same in the UK and therefore cannot be tolerated by a toddler.
7. No matter how hard you try, sometimes a toddler is just going to want hot chips for dinner over the gourmet pot of mussels (pommes frites anyone?)
8. Your best intentions in bringing healthy snacks can sometimes lead to toddler obsession with looking in your bag "what you got in your bag Mummy?"
9. You can't always stop well meaning friends/relatives from feeding the toddler biscuits 10 minutes before you were going to serve them a bowl of vegie laden pasta.
10. No matter how much of a pep talk you have given yourself not to worry about what the toddler is eating while you're away, you may find yourself jet-lagged at 5am documenting everything that they have consumed for the past three weeks and trying to identify how many of these could be considered a plant-food, let alone a vegetable.
So there you have it. It's not all bad but it also won't be perfect. If all else fails, I still recommend falling back on whatever healthy food it is that they will eat. One of ours is this super easy and quick gnocchi that only requires two saucepans!
Eleanor's Hidden Vegie Gnocchi
Ingredients
500 gms gnocchi
1 onion, finely sliced
1 zucchini, finely grated
1 handful spinach finely chopped
Half a jar of pesto
Recipe
Boil a large pot of water and cook the gnocchi according to the packet instructions
Meanwhile in a separate pan, fry the onions over a medium heat in a teaspoon or so of olive oil until softened. Add the zucchini and spinach and stir until wilted and softened.
When the gnocchi is cooked, add it to the vegies and stir through the pesto.
Serve with parmesan cheese
Friday, June 24, 2011
Yum cha - a parent's best friend
Today I have a hankering for dumplings and it inspired me to reflect on a very successful visit to the Shark Fin Inn in Little Bourke St last week. I think it is one of the best dining options when dealing with a toddler or even smaller little people! Or do I just tell myself that because I like to go to yum cha regardless?
A friend had proposed an 11am Sunday yum cha sitting following his going away party on the Saturday night. For him, this turned out to be a bad decision as he was out on the town until 6am but for us it was perfect! Kids seem to be pretty much ready for lunch by 11.30am (which it was closer to by the time we all got in there and seated).
There are a few aspects that make yum cha perfect kid food. Firstly, the food is there instantly which is an important first step for feeding kids (it's the same reason that all my handbags now have boxes of sultanas in them). Secondly, kids can pick whatever takes their fancy which for Leo is mostly prawn dumplings. Thirdly, you don't get any weird looks if you bring you're own kids food in as well. I tend to bring some chopped up fruit so when there is a slow patch where nothing is taking the toddler's fancy we can keep his interest going. Finally, if it all seems to be wearing thin, you can easily pack up and go at any point and it doesn't really affect anyone else - others can keep grazing or hang around for dessert without it feeling weird.
So if you're organising a lunch with multiple kiddies or just looking for an easy outing with a smaller group, (oor like me you are jjust crazy for dumplings) I would strongly recommend hitting Chinatown!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Why you should trust other parents
In a weird paradox, I often seek advice from other parents about what they are successfully feeding their toddlers but simultaneously think to myself "that wouldn't work for us". I included an example of this in an earlier post where I was convinced that a cookbook recipe for 'green rice' that was supposedly a favourite in the author's household was going to be rejected by our toddler (and probably my husband). In that case, I was entirely wrong and all of it was happily eaten.
Today I was wrong again in exactly the same way. We are pretty much out of fresh food in our household (it's Friday) and while I had enough to pull together a chilli con carne (inions, mince, tomatoes, beans) I had no rice just tortillas. I remembered a friend telling me how much her toddler loved burritos a while back. At the time, I had rejected the idea thinking it would be too messy and too confusing to explain - my husband even has trouble folding them. However, as I mentioned, I was happily proven wrong. All family members successfully folded and ate their burritos and I even managed to hide bonus vegies in the chilli.
It's funny how much energy I expend trying to convince the toddler to try new things but it turns out I am the one nervous about change. So recommend any of your successes to me and I am going to try them from now on! I have learnt my lesson - trust other parents, they have been there before.
Today I was wrong again in exactly the same way. We are pretty much out of fresh food in our household (it's Friday) and while I had enough to pull together a chilli con carne (inions, mince, tomatoes, beans) I had no rice just tortillas. I remembered a friend telling me how much her toddler loved burritos a while back. At the time, I had rejected the idea thinking it would be too messy and too confusing to explain - my husband even has trouble folding them. However, as I mentioned, I was happily proven wrong. All family members successfully folded and ate their burritos and I even managed to hide bonus vegies in the chilli.
It's funny how much energy I expend trying to convince the toddler to try new things but it turns out I am the one nervous about change. So recommend any of your successes to me and I am going to try them from now on! I have learnt my lesson - trust other parents, they have been there before.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Why you should never shop when you're hungry or pregnant
I think most people know that it is not advisable to do the grocery shopping when you're hungry as you tend to end up buying too much food (or eating potato cakes in a shopping centre food court). Unfortunately the same useful messages haven't come out about the perils of shopping when pregnant. I was caught by surprise on the weekend when I somehow came home with frozen hash browns, nacho flavoured corn chips and mini-boost chocolate bars (which I convinced myself were for my workmates but are now sitting in my bottom desk drawer in the office).
I am usually I very disciplined shopper and totally know to make lists and a budget and to stick to them but somehow the black arts of product placement overcame me just this once. I've never really subscribed to the concept of cravings but it seems this time it is my only excuse. Something in my body desperately needs orange colouring, MSG and trans-fats (and wouldn't mind a post-dinner cheeseburger).
So pregnant ladies be warned - the supermarket knows your weaknesses and they will get you!
I am usually I very disciplined shopper and totally know to make lists and a budget and to stick to them but somehow the black arts of product placement overcame me just this once. I've never really subscribed to the concept of cravings but it seems this time it is my only excuse. Something in my body desperately needs orange colouring, MSG and trans-fats (and wouldn't mind a post-dinner cheeseburger).
So pregnant ladies be warned - the supermarket knows your weaknesses and they will get you!
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